Day 26.

Day 26 - What You Think About Your Friends . 

I think they're awesome but sometimes , they can be such bastards . Sometimes I want to kill them & sometimes a part of me just wants to apologize for everything i've done & i'll try to understand better . they called me mature when i said their family thing was stupid , urgh . 

just no.

How can I let my emotions take over me , why can't I control it properly? I feel like i'm living another person's life . I am an outcast , once an outcast , always an outcast. If I could rewind the time , I certainly would . To be honest , I am not okay with jjong dating. He's already at the peak of his career . But I'm happy that he followed his heart & decided to go public with it . My friends don't like me anymore , they talk behind my back & i always end up becoming an outcast . O right , nobody wants to talk to me anyway. I hate animal abusers & they give me a reason for me to hate people alot . I know i'm going off-topic , but who fucking cares anyway . i feel inferior to other people , especially those better than me . I know if i'm going to go to secondary school , one day i'm going to slit my wrists & all the blood comes out then i'll die. thanks for reading this piece of crap

omg.

okay , so shin se kyung & jjong bb are dating . I was like , " what? you serious?" & it's confirmed. It feels so weird because she looks more mature than him , but they're of the same age . Anywho , i think they're a cute couple but it feels really , really weird. but if jjong's happy , i'm happy for him as well. to be honest , I cannot even imagine one of my biggest biases in kpop getting a girlfriend , i miss 2008 kpop , really , really , really much . 

his hand clutching her arm , o god. lmao , today's a really bad day for me as well . by the way , i'm not feeling very butthurt , but you need to understand that he's my bias & yeah , i died alittle inside . & , he's really happy isn't he?

i hope you enjoy your dating life right now , jjong , cherish it , but please do more skinship with onew i miss you alot now.

Day 25.

Day 25- What I would find in your bag.

Probably a bottle of water , my phone , sj photos' , collectibles , my camera ( A MUST!) . I don't carry around makeup now because i have only afew . & , deodorant , in case i smell bad lol . i'm a pretty boring person ;/

day 24.

Day 24- A letter to your parents.

Dear Mom & Dad , 

I'm really sorry for not making you two proud all these years . I've been misbehaving alot nowadays , but I really love you two , for bringing me up . Even though you guys divorced in the middle of my childhood , primary two to be exact , I try to be strong. I never really cried , because I know you two would be happier without each other. I cried myself to sleep for 5 years already , & you know what? I think I should stop. To be honest , I think I can't live without you two . I imagine that we're still one perfect , happy family . I am a pure jinx , I secretly read your divorce documents only to find out that i was the cause of your poor marriage life . " their marriage started to dissolve right after their child was born" . I cried so hard when I read that line . I really wanted to close the file but I did not , I continued reading & ended up tearing the pages . I guess you two don't know but , I really hate being alone .

Love , 

Claire.

i promised sheryl i'll write for her so here it is : 


I woke up with a shock , my samsung vibrated , I was half-awake by then , i whipped out my cell phone which was in my pocket , because i have this weird habit of not putting my phone on the side table .
" Oh! there's a text , so early on a damn saturday morning , what is this ," I thought to myself .
" yeobo ah , donghae misses you alot , i'll be back soon & i know you miss me , but don't feel sad , the tour's going to be over soon so i'm coming back in two days , jakiya , i promise , xoxo . "

I immediately d'aww-ed at his message & replied him , " darling , i miss you alot too , come back soon , i love you , & i'll wait ."

that's lee donghae for you , that sweet , caring & responsible guy . he makes sure that you would feel comfortable & warm talking to him & at the same time , he's loving towards you & never makes you feel shy . We're not married , yet , but we're cohabiting together even though our parents disapproves of it . Suddenly , He called me , just barely few minutes after I received his text .

" yeobo ah ~ i miss you so much , you know that texts cannot explain how I really feel right? So I just called up to see if my baby is alright ~ " Donghae muttered , apparently , I could hear the other sj boys in the background .

" aigoo , you really shouldn't have called me , go concentrate on your work , dear. Make me proud & come back home with pride okay ? " I replied in a soft tone , afraid I would disturb my neighbours who just woke up .

two days past by very quickly , instantly & in a flash , Donghae was ringing the doorbell .

" YEOBO AH  , DONGHAE IS HOME !!! DID YOU MISS ME? " I opened the door & saw this god , standing right in front of me . I ran up to him & hugged him , I missed him so much , you don't even understand . I love you , Lee Donghae .


god , that was the worst fanfic i've ever written ;~; i'm so sorry sheryl ): I'll make it up to you by writing you another one tomorrow , a better one , mmkay?

argh.

i miss 2008 kpop alot & i guess all of you others with me will agree too .

argh fuck , did anyone know that i loved shinee & jjong since then? no you didn't . 

I miss this okay .

enough of this . 2009-2010 kpop was absolutely fucked up . I hate all the fucking fake fans , nevermind that they're fake , they're also new . bear in mind , You have no right to comment that all of us are noobs or whatever because all of you are motherfucking losers . , "shinee is mine " , "yoona's mine get the fuck away" , " donghae is mine fuck off bitch " , i don't mind that really , but i hate it when people spam me with this type of fucking shit that isn't even cool . okay , stop including all this crap in your tweets . & about tumblr , I may have joined this year in april 2010 , but I enjoy it so much & I hate it when people ask me to promote them . Fuck no , I will never promote you or anyone else . If my followers take me as a promoter , then just seriously unfollow me . I'm so motherfucking pissed with all of you . You may be pissed with me as well but I actually don't really give a fuck if you do . 

day23.

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot.

to be honest , I crave alot of things. I want donghae's autograph & picture if i ever get to go backstage for ss3 . I want to see SNSD & Super Junior on the same stage if possible , I want my studies to be good for once . I want to go back to my original self , the person who loves american celebrities , music & food . I want to be loved by just one person , just one is all i ask for . most importantly ,  I want to have a complete family . 

day22.

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else.

for starters , i'm an only child & I'm born in the month of January , much earlier than most of my friends. My parents are divorced & no , I don't get jealous when my friends talk about their parents . that's about it . OH WAIT , I'm more mature then my schoolmates kthxbye n____n. 

Day21

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy.

1 - Dimsum , because i love cha siew baos' & siewmais'.

2 - Sushi . Who the hell doesn't love sushi? I love them to bits.

3 - Cup Noodles / Maggie Mee , sobs my lifesavers.

4 - Strawberry Ice-Cream , lovelovelove x infinity . 

& lastly , Super Junior.

They always make me happy ide , & seeing them working so so hard , makes my heart ache for all of them . All the members may not be physically with them , but in their heart , I know all 15 of them are together. I may not see them until next year , but I am definitely going to super show 3 , to support them. <3

Day20.

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.

to start this off , i'm just writing how I feel , if you don't like what i'm writing , get out of here. Okay , I'm not going to marry him , never ever . But I want a husband like him . Lee Donghae , the man who possesses all the qualities that an average girl wants. Not saying he's perfect , we all have our flaws , no? but I see no fault in him , in my eyes , he can do no wrong . Maybe I'm just biased , but hey , he's cute , gorgeous , lovely , handsome , everything . 

If I can get a man who is half as good as donghae , I'll be contented . & In about 10/20 years time , I'm going to see myself married to a wonderful man with a stable job , with twins & a nice house . Not that I'm mature , this is reality . I'm not going to live in Seoul , live in a beautiful townhouse with Donghae with two kids called Lee Cloud & Lee Ocean , NO . So yes , I kinda need to wake up LOL ;~; . 

day19.

Day 19- Nicknames you have & why do you have them.

1 - Clarie : a short ( but not really ) form pronunciation of my name , i guess? it sounds cute though , almost everyone calls me that .

2 - Clarie-Mary : I guess it's the same as the first one , & mary rhymes with Clarie *v*.

3 - Curlaire : Cur = Curly , Curlaire means Curly-Claire , because I used to have Curly hair.

4 - Curly Wurlaire : COURTESY OF DHA FELICIA TEO , nuff' said.

hotel.

so , my day was pretty awesome ( did not have to deal with those sluts) . & i've fallen in love with Zac Efron's smile~ Don't think he's lame k , high school musical WAS high school musical , current Zac is haaawt. 

I gotta go bathe , so stinky after eating all that food at the hotel , part of the dining course , fuck i'm so awesome , won myself a prize because i was stylish & classy . In your face , bitches. ( not boasting but yeah people tend to deny that i'm awesome :< ) 

day18.

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have.

1 - meet superjunior during supershow3.

2- write more fanfics / oneshots.

3 - meet my biases & then call then "oppa!" when i meet them,

just as a form of respect .

4  - meet donghae , jonghyun ( I WANT TO MEET JJONG AGAIN!) &  yoona in person . 

5 - get married to kevin . BLASPHEMY , self-proclaimed married to him already mmkay. 

6 - Catch up on my tvb dramas' . 

7 - Get into Holy Innocents' High / Geylang Methodist .

8 - Improve on my schoolwork when I get into secondary school.

& of course  , hae's warm & loving hug if I get to meet him .

/fantasizes because i'm awesome like that . 

Day17.

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why?

I guess snsd? because they're girls as well & i want to experience how hard it is to juggle schedules & all that jazz. & i know it must be grueling for them to travel to & fro from korea to japan & back . maybe I haven't went through it yet & I don't think I will , but just for once , I want to see how it feels like . & i love you girls . <3

Day16.

Day 16- Another picture of yourself.

So yeah , here's me . I took this picture yesterday & made it my facebook profile picture :) First time taking these type of pictures , & I have to say I kinda fail at it ;x . & my zits holy mother of macaronis' . Should use a better quality camera next time , dslr hehe .

isn't all about kpop.

some people need to know that I'm not just all about kpop , I do listen to english songs & Actually , for those people who claim they're a hollywood genius & stuff like that , they're so fucking wrong sometimes . I got into american stuff like real early . Even before I got into kpop ( which was in 2008 ) . I loved the movies ( & I still do ) , the music ( mostly by Lady Antebellum , Maroon 5 , Colbie Caillat , Neon Trees ,  Paramore etc. ) , & the clothes / fashion / books , everything . I have Lauren Conrad's books too ( L.A Candy , Sugar & Spice ) I can even remember all the old movies , not bragging but some people really piss me off sometimes . 

I watched Gossip Girl , 90210 , Glee , How I met your mother & Modern Family ever since the first season came out & I'm still watching all these wonderful shows. Sigh , I miss my old life . By the way , Hannah Montana , Wizards of Waverly Place , Sonny with A Chance & All the new Disney shows are fucking crap. Lizzie Mcguire , That's So Raven , Phil of the future , Even Stevens were classic , shouldn't have cancelled those shows . 

Shia Labeouf would've been my imaginary husband by now ;~; 

Day15.

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play.

Song 1 : Break Even - The Script . 

Song 2 : Obsession - SHINee

Song 3 : Ride It - Jay Sean.

Song 4 : DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love - Usher feat. Pitbull.

Song 5 : Feel So Good - IU

Song 6 : Copy & Paste - BoA

Song 7 : When I Fall - After School.

Song 8 : Shining Star - Super Junior

Song 9 : Your Name - SHINee

Song 10 : Love Love Love - FT Island . 

All my favourite songs :"> 

I'm tired of all this.

I wanted to use that snsd picture as my wallpaper but it was like too small & if it was stretched , it'll look pixel-ised which i fucking hate . & its pretty , I think it's part of the Daum Ad Campaign . I downloaded the screensaver(s) & it's mad cute okay! I wish I could screencap it , but hey , its a screensaver.

& I'm so depressed today & annoyed , ydek . Some people hate me but they don't want to admit even though they know that I know they dont like me . 

Day14.

Day 14- A picture of you and your family. 

- warning , image heavy.

1 - My dog : this picture was like in March - April (?) & yeah he grew much bigger okay , much bigger.

& i dont think i can seriously live without him , I already cried so fucking much when he was given away , but now he's back so im happy :) & yeah we're most probably going to be forever alone together , for the rest of our lives :">

2- My Aunt & My Cousin ( Charmaine ) : Well , this was taken in Orchard's fish & co. & I wasn't there cause I had school . they too , are one of the closest relatives that I have & I love them alot . & Me , Charmaine , Andrea , Isaac , Nicholas & Melissa usually go crazy together , but i'm like the youngest so yeah. we do laugh alot & me & andrea talk about kpop once in awhile /smiles. & my mother's side of the family IS pretty fun to be with as well , lol my aunt always gives me books to read & she gives me food as well whenever she goes on a trip .

3- My Cousin ( Charmaine ) : Same place as the above photo . She's currently in Australia so I miss her alot . We skype-d once & then she totally took a photo of me with the dog on my bed ( not what you're thinking ) .  & yeah , we do go pretty wild & I still miss the times we went to karaoke & made funny faces & used up all your phone memory LOLOL , sigh , i miss you & COME BACK SOON ! 8>

4 - My Cousins ( Felicia , Tricia ) & Me : this was taken last year at my grandma's house , lol we had so much fun back then! & I miss all of you so yeah , NEXT WEEK IM COMING SO NO NEED TO WORRY HAHAHAHHA . <3

5 - Xing Ning : Took this at our house playground , xing ning moved already...i miss her , but i'm glad im still friends with her . I talk to her much , much more now! 

LOL I CAN'T TYPE ALREADY . 

6 - Tricia 

7- Nicholas & My mom.

Day13.

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

dear you , 

you fucking ruined my life , you are a douche , a fucker , a bastard , a low-life crook , you robbed me of my feelings , i'm human too you know ? unless you're a "human" with no feelings . so what if I like kpop? got a problem with that? whatever there is NO point in talking about you , much less look at you . You look like a zombie , to be honest. You don't have friends & you complain about that , why? because of your bloody-disgusting attitude . continue like this & you won't survive in this world , i assure you . 

i dont love you , 

claire . 

Day12.

Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one.

Tumblr is really amazing & I could go on talking about this amazing site . Well , for starters , I found out this site through Lia, who has been spamming tumblr quotes & pictures & everything for quite a long time back already . I only decided to join tumblr in like April 2010 ( It's quite late D: ) . I was super emotional on April 1st ( April Fool's Day ) & the next day ( which was a holiday & a friday ) , the sgsficlique girls were going out for a clique outing , I couldn't go so I was really sad . Then for one reason or another , I started thinking back of the times when me & my friends used to stay over at each other's houses & I started to feel really unhappy & lonely . 

I was really noob at tumblr , but thank god I knew how to set a theme & all that . I was really inactive during april & start of may . so after the exams I started to spam tumblr & I am still super active on it . Tumblr's not a social networking site , Its not . It's about expressing how you really feel & nobody would care about what you post . It's a carefree place , really . ( EXCEPT FOR THOSE ANONS WHO HATE ON ME D: ) It's a nice place where you can share your thoughts with your followers . Tumblr isn't about followers, likes , reblogs etc. I dislike people who brag about their followers on their tumblog also . Tumblr is also my best friend because I am forever alone , well that's just cause its the relationship status of most people on tumblr ^^v . 

Day11.

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends.

omg this > all the other photobooth photos . Tricia & me! :D

So here's tricia as I promised . This photo was taken last year on jamies macbook . Tricia is a bloody camera hog I swear , nevermind , I still love her! 8> I kind of miss the times we were at jamie's house going crazy & making videos & talking about everything , seriously . I MISS ALL OF YOU PLOX.